I noticed last month I had to short of a luteal phase which really bummed me out since you can't get pregnant with to short of a window. This month I went 12 days after ovulation before my period decided to show up. (It was 5 days early)
Disappointed we both are, and are eager to get back to our doctor to see what's next for us, since clearly the on our own thing hasn't worked for us. (Over a year and a half of trying)
Of course there are all the emotions of feeling mad/sad/envious as I scroll through my instagram feed and see all my "friends" real life and just insta friends are all knocked up, expecting etc etc...Of course I am genuinely happy for them, because that's the kind of person I am. But in the same fleeting feeling, I can't help but ask God, why not me? Am I to selfish of a person to be a mom? Is there a reason why God doesn't want me to have a baby? Would I not be a good mother? As I tell my students all the time, life's hard, wear a helmet. But sometimes no matter how padded that helmet is, you still feel a little bit of the pain. I had no idea that trying to have a baby would be so hard. I spend the last 10 years trying to NOT ruin my life, and can't help but wonder if all those years on the pill have ruined me for the future?
Such a tough spot to be in. Well, that's my baby making update. What's new with everyone else?
Hang in there! I'm sending baby vibes your way! You will be a wonderful mommy!
ReplyDeletebless your heart friend...i am so sorry you're having to experience this. just not fair and i hope you get some answers and some good news soon. if it makes any difference, a good friend of mine was on BC for years and just got pregnant so it could absolutely happen to you, too!! prayers coming your way OXOX
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the pain you're experiencing. There are horrible people who seem to conceive just by thinking about it, and then wonderful people who would make wonderful parents who just can't seem to conceive. Have you heard of Optivite PMT? It's a natural supplement that can help with short luteal phases and other imbalances without having to take hormones. Are you low progesterone? Have you checked to see if you are hypo-thyroid also? You can buy Optivite on Amazon. I am also struggling with low progesterone and borderline hypothyroid, not TTC yet, but I am starting to take Optivite today. I heard about it in "Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition." It addresses natural remedies that can sometimes help, which is why I'm taking Optivite as a first line of defense. http://www.amazon.com/Optivite-Pmt-Tablets-180-tabs/dp/B000MRQCYE/ref=sr_1_1/176-5815719-0640814?ie=UTF8&qid=1408631446&sr=8-1&keywords=optivite+pmt
ReplyDeleteI used to be there with all those feelings too. its totally normal and God is NOT punishing you and you will be a great mother someday. Keeping the faith is hard. Hoping you can get some answers from the specialist!
ReplyDeleteRandom follower, but we're in a little bit of the same situation, so I thought I would leave a line of encouragement! We've been trying for almost 1 1/2 years as well. After trying on our own, and then trying clomid (that my body evidently didn't respond to at all), we've moved and it seems like we're "starting over" on the fertility track. I have an appointment with specialist again to see what our next step now is. I'm 29 and sometimes wonder the same questions as you, but it does no good! I'm positive most the time, but it's hard sometimes when it seems so easy for others. My husband tries to remind me that regardless of what ends up happening, we could always be worse off :) Good luck to you and your husband!
ReplyDeleteEverything happens for a reason! I know it's hard but just keep swimming. I don't know how this feels TTC, because Beardy and I just got married, but I can imagine with all the bloggers having babies, it has to be hard.
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I am currently at the end of our first cycle of IVF and I totally understand the envious feeling while still being happy for literally everyone around you thats instantly pregnant. It's a hard time and for me has become a somewhat lonely time. I will be praying for you and your husband!
ReplyDeleteYour time will come. Gosh aren't you sick of hearing people say that? I know I was, but unfortunately it is true. God has a perfect plan for your life and He will bless you with your baby on His time. I was also on the pill for 10 years and although my doctor swears that was not the cause of my infertility, I still think it had some impact. My husband and I tried for 18 months, 4 IUIs and 1 IVF cycle before getting pregnant. Now, we have a beautiful 2 month old baby girl and wow God's timing really did end up being perfect. Best of luck to you! Kudos to you for being brave enough to share your journey with your readers, I did as well http://jaredandjackiroche.blogspot.com/2013/10/a-new-journey.html
ReplyDeletePS - It's totally ok to secretly hate every pregnant woman you see right now, you are a human being and you are hurting. Trust me, I felt that way too, even about my closest friends. Stay strong and have faith.
I've been wanting to hear an update. Have you ever had your thyroid checked? I was checked this January and shocked to find my blood levels are all messed up. It can cause cycle problems (in my case too long). Also get your progesterone checked as that is what regulates cycle length. Hoping you get answers and a baby soon! It is unfair that you are struggling. You'd make a great mom.
ReplyDeleteOh I remember those feelings all too well! I'm soo sorry you are going through this!!! But remain hopeful! Hope saw me through 4 years of infertility with only a 4% success rate and we have a sweet miracle of a son!! Stay strong!!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are going through this and will keep y'all in my thoughts. I am glad you posted an update, it's not always easy to share something so personal.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you girl. You will be an amazing mom when the time comes. Hope you get to see the doctor soon and get the ball rolling on the next step of your journey
ReplyDeleteI hope things are going better for you and maybe you are getting some answers, my husband and i tried for 3.5 years with medical interventions and with no luck then, we decided we needed a break for awhile and 4 months later i was late and pregnant! Now we have our sweet miracle baby! I hope you get your miracle soon!
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