The only danger in Friendship is that it will end. -- Henry David Thoreau
I never thought I'd lose my childhood best friend. The girl who I stood as her Maid of Honor in her wedding. The girl that climbed monkey bars with me and walked her dog when I walked my dog, down the street to hang out. The girl that swore we'd be in each others weddings no matter what.
One might ask, where is all this stemming from?
Two days ago, I was watching Joel Osteen on T.V. Now mind you, I don't usually watch preachers preach on TV, after all I do attend church every Sunday!
What caught me, was the quick little blurb that I heard him say. I then found myself sitting there for 30 min listening to his sermon.
* The above blurb is taken from His website
Here's the clip that totally caught me and really hit me hard.
Sorry there is no direct video link you have to actually copy this link and go to his page to watch it. I highly recommend you do! It was very moving!
I feel saddened as I have hit 30, because so many of my "friends" have changed. I know I have changed too, but not in the sense of KEEPING IN TOUCH. I feel like people just get so self absorbed that they really don't care if they leave you hanging. Literally.
I mean I get it. life moves on.
People get married, parents retire, responsibilities at work increase, kids arrive, priorities change. They all demand time. Does this affect friendships? Yes and No. You still care. You still feel connected whenever you get talking, whenever you meet. But, you don’t meet often and you don’t get to talk often. Which is again okay.
It’s when you realize that you are the one who always calls, that it’s not okay. It’s when you realize that you are the one who always sends a IM, that it’s not okay. It’s when you start thinking before sending a IM, that it’s not okay. It probably means we have moved on. Does it?
I caved and wrote an email to my so called "best friend" letting her know how difficult it was even for me to confront her on how "one sided" our so called "best friendship" has/had become. I'm probably crazy for doing it 7 days before my wedding. No one needs drama before their big day right? I just had this gut feeling that I needed to tell her NOW or never.
Long story short, my "best friend" and I have really lost a lot of touch in the last year. For me, I felt a huge change the day AFTER she was married! Our "communication" became less and less. A few times I would just start off the opening sentence in an email to her stating, "Are you alive?" or, "I never hear from you." She lives back in IL, and I'm here in AZ. She recently had her first child in Nov, and since then, you could really say she has become non existent to me. I feel like I've done everything on my behalf to try to keep in touch!
The last time I was home (Last July) I drove 50 minutes in a borrowed car to get together for a quick dinner with her. The whole time we were there I could just "feel" like she was antsy to get on her "way". Feeling this way really hurts.
When is it time to let a "friendship go"? Was I right to throw in the towel right back at her? Using a phone or email is a two way street. I feel so sad about this. I never thought she'd NOT be there for me getting married.