The Baby Post

I feel like this is the year of the "babies"! Tons of bloggers, and real life friends seem to be having them this year! 

Hubs and I have been married only 4 months now, (together over 2 and half years) and we often get asked "So when are you going to have kids?" 


Naturally one assumes they ask us this since we are 31 and 30 years old. Which to "old" folk they get wide eyes and say, "you are old." Meh. Really? It's not 1950 where it's normal to have kids at 20 anymore. My favorite is when a lady the other night told me that my time was ticking! "Tick tock tick tock" she chanted at me. For real? Hubs being a nurse and all has constantly told me that we "have time" and we are still YOUNG. Where do old people get off saying I'm old? Good grief charlie brown! 



 I say we are SMART. There is no way I would of ever been ready to of been a "mom" at anything under the age of 26. I have to scowl and say most people don't "get it" when I say this. I say it for one darn good reason. I AM A TEACHER. This means the following things:

I see other peoples kids for more hours in a day then they do. I enjoy coming home to NO KIDS. Just a dog thank you very much. (for now that is haha)

I AM A TEACHER.

What a wonderful form of Birth Control. You see just about every problematic child there is and what your life "could" be like. 

I AM A TEACHER.

This means I am at the bottom of the barrel for salary esp in my lovely state of AZ. When you hardly make anything to support a party of 1, and now a husband, how in the heck do you expect a teacher to support having a kid? God does NOT provide funding and any one who has this mentality of Little House on The Prairie type of mindset, you are not thinking about money like I do. 

With all that being said, I confess becoming a parent petrifies me. I confess I am a selfish person. I like my "ME" time and often find myself wondering how in the heck I would be with a kid I can never leave alone like you can a dog for a few hours and come back. Granted I do this with Aspen now, my life and schedule revolves around her. I never leave her for more than a few hours at a time, (other than working my normal 7-4 time slot for work) 

I see parents who are like this daily. They are stressed. They don't even have to say it, I see it on their faces when they are dropping their kids off to school or picking them up in the office. They look like they never have any "ME" time which I get it, when you make the choice to have kids, you are giving that all up. You are sacrificing your life for the better of your child's life. 


I confess I am terrified of the whole giving birth part of having a kid. I've had nightmares that I'd be the one soul that would die from giving birth to a child. Seriously. I think about these things. I know, not the happy part of mommy hood right? I have a ZERO pain tolerance and fear I just won't be able to handle the pain of all that one feels when birthing a child.  And there's the whole gaining weight and then the thought of not being able to lose it, I fear I will lose my mind! 

I have always been the babysitter that lies awake next to the child that is sleeping that isn't my own, fearful that the kid will stop breathing. The beauty of babysitting, is that the job is eventually over in a few hours and I get to go home at the end of the night and let the parents do the worrying about whether or not their kid is breathing. 

People always tell me, "You'll make a great mom". Heck even my own boss at school says this to me. I can't help but think yeah right! Will I really? How do you know? 


Not to mention that we are still paying off our wedding which we paid for on our own, and thus holiday X mas bills. I know they say you'll never have enough money saved, but I have to believe part of being a responsible parent is having SOMETHING saved! Not living paycheck to paycheck! 

Hubs and I do want to have kids. I know eventually I'll get over my fears and suck it up, but for now, we are okay with just us party of 2 (plus Aspen) 

Anyone else share these future unborn children fears of mine? 









Photobucket

24 comments:

  1. When to have kids is your decision, good for you for not letting others pressure you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh my gosh, you guys have plenty of time! i swear, people think they can say anything. starting a family is super scary, i only have 20 weeks left and i'm beginning to panic. no matter how much we have saved, how many books i read, etc, i'll never be 100% prepared.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My husband and I are teachers too....and we have 2 children! Yes, it is a different life working with kids all day, and then coming home to your own...but honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world! It makes you appreciate so much about your own kids: please and thank you, using a tissue (I know you understand), sitting and finishing homework, and actually putting it somewhere you will be able to find it the next day.

    I think because we (and you) see so much every day, we promise "NOT OUR KIDS!". They will know their times tables. They will write neatly. They will be critical thinkers. They will be kind to others. They will have goals.

    You are young...I was 33 and 38 when I had my kids (my husband was 39 and 43). Take your time. Enjoy one another's company. Make a life together. You will know when the time is right. You will feel it.

    (I know you are C Mae....my daughter is Callie Mae!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm right there with you! I'm 28 and when people mention to me that my "clock is ticking" for kids, it totally freaks me out!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am 100% with you...the me time, the teaching all day...and most importantly, not having enough saved! I see kids every day without the things they need in life...them and their 5 siblings! I know I want to have kids, but if I can't afford them, I have to be okay with that too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Every one is ready at a different time! I got married when I was 19, and have been married almost 4 years now and we are expecting in July. We are so excited! But God definitely waited until His perfect timing because we wouldn't have been ready before now. My older sister is 28, she got married after me and still isn't ready for kids. I'm not sure if you're a Christian.. (I didn't know how to take the God doesn't provide funding part?) But I think that God does provide for His children! I think you will get over your fear. I have the same fears sometimes... but I guess it's too late to go back now! lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think being scared is completely natural! Actually, I think anyone that's not scared is out of their freaking mind and has no idea what they're about to get into! It's a huge responsibility and one that more people should freak out about! I think it's awesome that you're waiting until you're ready. Your time will come. Enjoy your marriage and just being the two of you for a while. You'll know when the time's right - it's an overwhelming feeling that may totally surprise you one day when you realize you're ready. Until then, sleep, work out, travel, go on dates, spend time with your friends. There's plenty of time for kids later.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have the same fears!!! I'm 26 and will be 27 in April. My husband just turned 24 a few months ago. I'm not ready for kids, nor do I think I ever will be until after I'm 30. My husband is deployed right now, so there will definitely be no kids in the future (even if he was here, there wouldn't be!). I'm so afraid, especially about the weight thing. I know it might be vain, but it really freaks me out! Also, the whole birthing experience... talk about scary! Oh yeah, I feel so behind because people my age have 2-3 kids right now! I mean to each their own and that''s good for them. I really like having me time and having time with the dogs and hubby.

    ReplyDelete
  9. we get a ton of pressure too from people. Don't know why just because you get married that immediately after you have to have kids.
    annoying for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I totally agree with you! I am a teacher too and I also work after school with children who have autism. My husband and I are 27 and have only been married for a year. Having children is the last thing we are thinking about. There is still so much that we want to do. I am also afraid that I would not be able to loose the baby weight and the actual act of giving birth freaks me out big time! Right now we are just focusing on paying off our student loans and home and enjoying each other!

    ReplyDelete
  11. We get a ton of pressure as well. We've been married for 4 years and have no desire to start a family anytime soon. We tell everyone it will be 10 years and if it happens before that great, then they will be surprised. I enjoy being married and having time for us. Kids are wonderful and I am excited to be a mother, but just not right now. We have too much we want to accomplish before they enter the picture.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I definitely have the same fears! I am in no way ready to have kids, especially since I'm still in college. I don't think I will ever feel ready to have kids in all honesty, but when I do decide to have them, I want to make sure I am financially secure and ready for all the sacrifices I will have to make. Plus, everything that comes with pregnancy scares me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You're not alone at all. I'm a few years younger than you, but I know that even when it's time for us to start trying, I'm still going to have some crazy fears. I think that being a teacher is probably top birth control though!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I totally have fears about having kids. Somedays I want one REAL bad and other days I'm glad I don't have one right now... and I mean that in the best possible way. Everyone is different and if you two want to take your time then so be it, girlfriend! :)
    www.livingbarefootandcrazy.blogspot.com ♥

    ReplyDelete
  15. I agree with about saving up and feeling ready. I also get tired of people mentioning kids and the age you are. Jeez Louise, what's meant to be will be...

    ReplyDelete
  16. I hate that people start asking you when you're going to start having babies the MINUTE you get married. How's it any of their business?! It's you and your hubby's decision to have children when you both feel it's right...no other!

    My fiance and I don't even want children, and boy oh boy do we get the stink eye for that one...but hey, it's our decision!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I so agree with this post! people always ask us too and we've been together for 5 years (married 6 months) and although it does feel good to get asked we want to SMART too! it'll happen when we're ready!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I want to be a mom more than anything in the world. I have a lot of the same fears you do too though. I spent Saturday afternoon with my best friend and her 5 month old. Running into a store for one thing is no longer a 10 min ordeal. Getting out of the house is no longer I have my purse, keys and phone....do you have a change of clothes, formula, diapers, toys, blanket, etc. It definitely is a completely different world, but it's something I want. 90% of what I have thought about on being a mom scares me, but it's just because it's something new. It's something I have never done before of course it's scary. I also like my me time. I think of THAT often. I would not be able to sit in silence on the couch ALONE once I'm a mom. And the delivery part....holy hell that scares the LIFE out of me. I have zero pain tolerance. I fear I will cry through the entire thing worrying I will not physically be able to give birth to my child.
    You shouldn't feel rushed or pushed into starting a family. You and your husband are the only two that matter when making the decision as to when you will make that step.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I too think ill die giving birth!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. there is NEVER a good time to have a baby!!!! I know, I had 8. wouldn't send any back though. And, yes, every one of m girlfriends has granite and drives a lexius I have formica and drive a van....and just imagine the grief I got when I got pregnant....non-stop comments and advise from people on elevators even!t now that I have so many kids and am so busy i do not have time or energy to worry or care what anyone else thinks...
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's like you took the word out of my mouth! Well, you know, other than the teacher stuff. We have been married three years, and people are blown away that we don't have kids. At least now the family has stopped bugging us ;)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I feel the exact same way. It's like you spoke my thoughts! I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. I'm right there with you but just have a different job.

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's so true that once you get married, it's the only question you seem to hear until it actually happens. There are many who feel the same way you do. We waited a year after we got married but everyone is different. My best friend recently got married this past summer and has mentioned she has no intentions to have children anytime soon. I think it just depends on how you feel. When it feels right, then you can make it happen! I am currently pregnant and also ridiculously scared of giving birth! I try not to think about it too much lol

    ReplyDelete
  24. I have those exact same fears. I tried to post about it a few months ago, and I did to an extent, but I feel like after I hit post, I had so many more things to say. We will be paying off our wedding for what feels like an eternity, but I try not to think about it. I am so scared of what will happen to my body - I have been blessed with a body that I don't have to work for - but really don't look forward to the day that all the cheeseburgers and bowls of cereal catch up to me. Plus, the thought of all that ripping/tearing/cutting? OR a giant needle in my spinal cord? Unsettling to say the least. I am so right there with you.

    ReplyDelete

If you visited and read my post, be kind, leave a line!

A little lovely. All rights reserved. © Adorable Design.