I wish I had amazing news to share, but I don't. Infact it's just another day for me and the hubs when it comes to the baby making business. We Got the green light from having that procedure I had done back in May to start trying again. Given our turbulent moving situation (AZ to OH back to AZ) needless to say I've been pretty stressed and neither of us really were "Into" really trying hard core so to speak.
I noticed last month I had to short of a luteal phase which really bummed me out since you can't get pregnant with to short of a window. This month I went 12 days after ovulation before my period decided to show up. (It was 5 days early)
Disappointed we both are, and are eager to get back to our doctor to see what's next for us, since clearly the on our own thing hasn't worked for us. (Over a year and a half of trying)
Of course there are all the emotions of feeling mad/sad/envious as I scroll through my instagram feed and see all my "friends" real life and just insta friends are all knocked up, expecting etc etc...Of course I am genuinely happy for them, because that's the kind of person I am. But in the same fleeting feeling, I can't help but ask God, why not me? Am I to selfish of a person to be a mom? Is there a reason why God doesn't want me to have a baby? Would I not be a good mother? As I tell my students all the time, life's hard, wear a helmet. But sometimes no matter how padded that helmet is, you still feel a little bit of the pain. I had no idea that trying to have a baby would be so hard. I spend the last 10 years trying to NOT ruin my life, and can't help but wonder if all those years on the pill have ruined me for the future?
Such a tough spot to be in. Well, that's my baby making update. What's new with everyone else?