I'm not really sure how I am making it through these rough days. I have cried more and more each day and I just wonder how I have any tears left. It has been pretty unbearable coming home to our house from work each day. Yesterday after working out at the gym, my husband and I sat in my car in the gym parking lot debating if we wanted to go home because we just dreaded opening the front door and entering into a home of complete silence. No bark, no little jingle bell on her harness to great us. My heart is just so heavy. Sharing John Mayer's song felt very fitting. Aspen's normal vet called me at work today, and I have to admit as difficult as a conversation as it was, I am really feeling a little better hearing her tell me that she would of done the same thing. And from what she saw on the X rays or doctor's notes, that the surgery would of been to risky and we probably would of lost Aspen during the operation. She feels we did the most humane thing, which still leaves me without her and hurts so much, but I am trying so hard to comes to terms that she is in a better place. It just isn't easy.
I have very sweet friends and neighbors that dropped off these flowers and sweet little succulent plants for us. It's calming to know that certain people do care, and the people you least expect will do things for you. Today the two first grade teachers gave me these flowers and had each and every single one of their kiddos give me a big hug. of course that made me cry of course. Kids hugs, esp the kids that know you are feeling down, really do help.