tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post6519573359771872348..comments2024-02-06T01:19:49.263-07:00Comments on A little lovely: yours, mine, oursC Maehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07386100674885272078noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-69938944547915548842012-04-16T06:01:02.785-07:002012-04-16T06:01:02.785-07:00I am a newlywed, almost been married for a year. ...I am a newlywed, almost been married for a year. My husband and I share an account and it has worked out great for us. Currently I'm a student, and I'm in school to be a teacher. I started working part-time in January, so I could go to school full-time and finish sooner. My husband is more than happy to support us both while I'm in school and I am so appreciative of that. <br /><br />We have our own personal reasons to share our account, but I have to say I agree with everything your friend said to you about the subject. One thing to consider-- how will you split up bills? What is considered fair? I personally would feel like a roomate splitting bills with my husband. I have had friends that share an account, but have seperate bank accounts too and that has worked out well for them, especially if one wants to buy something expensive, etc. <br /><br />Right now my husband and I pay for all of our mortgage, bills, gas and groceries using our checking account. On Monday's we take out cash at the bank for each of us to use for the entire week.. eating out for lunch, starbucks, date nights, entertainment, etc. and we only use our cash. It teaches us to manage our money better and we'ere not living outside of our means. We can both do whatever we want with our cash so I don't have to "ask his permission" if I want to spend it all on one thing, etc. <br /><br />I say do what's best for you as a couple! Also, I highly recommend you do pre-marital counseling before getting married, or shortly after. It really helped my husband and I. Especially with our finances!Nicole-Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03764959533612146877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-65212791860247621152012-04-12T12:31:33.175-07:002012-04-12T12:31:33.175-07:00I loved this post so much I included it in Lots of...I loved this post so much I included it in Lots of Link Love for this week!<br /><br />http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com/2012/04/lots-of-link-love.htmlCaseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11866339373687441164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-44644521398225640572012-04-12T11:15:22.620-07:002012-04-12T11:15:22.620-07:00I agree with those who say 'do what works best...I agree with those who say 'do what works best for you', but I'm pro-joint account. I believe you get married, you become a family, and what's his is yours and vice versa. I'm surprised by how many have/believe in separate bank accounts. It definitely seems a generational thing. <br /><br />I've taken care of myself since I was seventeen, job, bank account, credit card (which I eventually canceled), finances. Hubby lived at home until he finished college, had two jobs, and his own bank account. When we got married we pooled our finances and opened a joint account. We also got our one and only joint credit card (which is still the only card we have and is for emergencies only). <br /><br />Hubby makes way more money than I do, but I was the one who learned early on how to scrimp and save to make money stretch (which has served us well). He never questions me about how I spend our money, though we never make large purchases without consulting each other and discussing them first (not only for the financial reasons but for practical reasons - such as, do we really need that item). <br /><br />Now, that said, years later I once again have my own bank account. This one set up for my business expenses, but hubby is still listed on it. <br /><br />Again, it's about whatever works for each couple. If both parties are comfortable having separate accounts, then so be it. To me, in a way, it seems a way to hang on to that 'single' status in some small way. My BIL and SIL have separate accounts (and by all intents and purposes separate lives). We think it's weird, but it seems to work for them. He bought the house, they split the bills and repairs and upkeep (when SIL sees fit to do that). They seem more like roommates than a married couple, and they still argue about money and everything else. lol <br /><br />Joint accounts or not, lack of money will be an issue that crops up in marriage no matter what. It's just a part of life and something you have to be willing to address as a couple.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07861306348634106983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-66256315377567006892012-04-09T17:24:15.092-07:002012-04-09T17:24:15.092-07:00to each their own.... we have separate accounts, a...to each their own.... we have separate accounts, and only one joint checking... he pays a little more in rent, but I make it up by buying groceries. I like keeping our money apart, and for now its workingKristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18272446201835946704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-31604003555719450632012-04-05T23:12:54.726-07:002012-04-05T23:12:54.726-07:00My husband and I do both. We have a joint checking...My husband and I do both. We have a joint checking account that is both of ours. We both contribute money into it each month, and that's what we use to pay the bills and keep our household running. Then we have our own separate accounts. I think everyone is different and you'll find what works for you!Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13606606583734701805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-73580690001399788992012-04-04T09:44:11.682-07:002012-04-04T09:44:11.682-07:00Well someday I will hopefully have this dilemma......Well someday I will hopefully have this dilemma....interesting to read all the comments. <br />I think the diagram is the way to go!Lindsay // Vineyard Loveknotshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07353345418457972581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-70523890195840150162012-04-03T14:01:49.785-07:002012-04-03T14:01:49.785-07:00So I agree with some other posters on the fact tha...So I agree with some other posters on the fact that it totally depends on the couple. My hubby and I have joint accounts. This makes things super easy when it comes to bills (ie, Did that check go through yet? I dunno check the bank account.) It also makes things easier for paying bills in general. I pretty much agree with your friend in that it makes things awkward if you're out and your spouse needs to tell you that you can pay for it on your own. <br />As far as "getting into fights about money", I think if the two of you have a budget planned out, between the two of you you should know how much money you have left over. Decide how much each month you want to put in savings and then the rest is for you to use. There are some months where I spend more of the fun money than my husband (bathingsuit season!) and some months where he spends more than me (there's always new gear that's needed for the outdoor adventure guy!) but because we both know how much there is we can be fair about how it's spent. And if it's not equal spending all of the time, then so what? I'm sure there'll be an expensive gift for you down the road or your time to swipe the card in the mall. Being married is about supporting each other and being honest. If you can't be honest with eachother about what's being spend and supporting each other's hobbies/interests/taste in fashion then what else is marriage for?<br />And the whole friend thing? I totally think you can have different friends, I just think in reality people just end up having similar friends because let's face it, if they're cool enough to hang out with my husband they're usually cool enough to hang out with me!Triciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02165594457049835412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-43030401366988531222012-04-02T22:03:57.422-07:002012-04-02T22:03:57.422-07:00Oy, I could go all day on this topic. I think it&#...Oy, I could go all day on this topic. I think it's a good idea to have a joint account, even if you don't use it for a majority of your finances. It's nice to have a place where you can deposit checks that are made out to BOTH of you (especially with a wedding! You're bound to get tons of checks made out to Mr AND Mrs Wonderful... how do you decide how to split them up? Or if your bank will even take a check made out to two people into an individual account (since I know a lot of places won't). My thoughts have always told me to have a joint checking for joint bills (house, cable, etc) and each person put a percentage of their paycheck into it in order to cover those bills. Then each person is still responsible for your own fun money or individual credit cards/gas/phones or whatever else. And if you have a solid relationship, chances are the other person won't get upset if you can't contribute as much towards the bills because your paychecks just plain aren't big enough. It's all about compromise :)Carly Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08292187482177900434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-34484142342318316932012-04-02T20:04:28.073-07:002012-04-02T20:04:28.073-07:00Even after getting married, LC and I still have ou...Even after getting married, LC and I still have our own bank accounts. We're not getting a joint one.southernbellejmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13830059680594052414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-4344991466395152702012-04-02T19:54:38.042-07:002012-04-02T19:54:38.042-07:00I don't think there is a right answer to this ...I don't think there is a right answer to this one. If what you are doing is working, I wouldn't break it.<br /><br />My husband and I have a joint account. We each have the same amount for an "allowance" each month. I don't question what he buys with his and he doesn't question me. It works well for us!michelle@decorandthedoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18011393497277353506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-87461871585443879882012-04-02T18:29:06.112-07:002012-04-02T18:29:06.112-07:00That diagram is how Josh and I work. We have a joi...That diagram is how Josh and I work. We have a joint account for the bills we both have - phones, mortgage, insurance, etc. - and we both contribute equally each month to it. Then, if we want to put money in to our joint savings, I add that in as a "bill" so that we're jointly contributing to it, also. Things like my credit card debt and his car payment we each pay separately. It works for us well, now. He makes more than I do now, but at the same time, he'll be a firefighter making a certain salary until he retires. I'll be taking over the family business and will be the breadwinner. I think when you've been married for 20 years, it's probably a bit different and easier to have everything joint. That way when Josh wants to spend ridiculous amounts of $$ on supplements or floormats for his car, I don't get mad, and I don't feel guilty about shopping. I do know that something will have to change a bit when we are married, because right now, we still pay for things like gifts and groceries accordingly. So, since I do all the Christmas and birthday shopping, guess who ends up with the thousands of dollars to spend at Christmas and guess who only has to buy for me? <br /><br />With my exhusband, we had all of our money together, which was fine for me, because I managed the money, but it was hard for him to be controlled all the time, because he literally had to tell me, "I spent $5 at the gas station" or "I need a new pair of shoes this month" and it was just a pain in the ass. Plus, it makes it a bit difficult to buy gifts for each other when you're seeing every transaction that goes through the account.<br /><br />In the future, I know that Josh and I will still maintain our own "fun money" because I think it's SUPER important, but I think that having a joint account to pay for things together is, too.<br /><br />And as far as assets go? I own my car and my home. Josh owns his car. Neither of us will be running out to put each other on the title/deed any time soon. When it's time for both of us to get a new car and we're married, I'm sure it will be in both of our names, as well as when it comes time to look at buying another house, but I don't think there's any rush to add a spouse to an asset, because they ARE your spouse, so if anything happens to you, they'll be your beneficiary, anyway. Okay, I'm just rambling now... gonna go! :-)Hilaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13686565812112185860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-14001529460138741872012-04-02T18:20:27.123-07:002012-04-02T18:20:27.123-07:00Great topic for discussion! I know successful coup...Great topic for discussion! I know successful couples that do it both ways. So more so than being an issue of how do you do it, I think it's really what works for you as a couple. We share money, but also have individual savings accounts. <br /><br />Money can be a tricky issue in relationships so I think it's important to set the ground rules and be up front about it.The Pink Growlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07989903849187564517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-2167443384119115562012-04-02T18:13:54.918-07:002012-04-02T18:13:54.918-07:00I also forgot to mention the age/career part. I th...I also forgot to mention the age/career part. I think that if we were more invested into our individual careers, and not just starting out, we would be a little more definitive about who pays what and would care more about putting our names on things. But because we are still pretty young we are more open to the idea both of our names on things such as bank accounts, etc.<br /><br />xoxo<br />PetchiePetchiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10846375888716503369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-34283598296308830032012-04-02T17:50:06.169-07:002012-04-02T17:50:06.169-07:00I was actually going to post something about this ...I was actually going to post something about this because my fiance and I were recently discussing this. I think that it definitely has to do in part to age/place in your career at the time that you are getting married. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years now, and we are getting married despite the fact that we are still young (I'm 22 in a month). I have a decent savings account set aside, a car, and don't have any student loans and a job in accounting. My fiance has a small amount of student loans, a car, and not as much in savings because he paid for school mostly.<br /><br />I would describe our relationship when it comes to money as "financially interdependent" he has his money, and i have mine, right now in separate accounts. We don't make a fuss over bills and sometimes I will pay for something or he will. <br /><br />As of right now, I'm not really sure how we are going to split the bills and joint account deal. I think it would be pretty annoying to open a joint account and close some of our own separate ones, because we have online payments hooked up to them. We plan to open up a joint account, and see how that works out. Either way, we have access to each others financial accounts so to me it doesnt make a huge difference. <br /><br />xoxo<br />Petchie<br />http://itsallofthelittlethings.blogspot.com/Petchiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10846375888716503369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-75904837668988670322012-04-02T16:44:59.003-07:002012-04-02T16:44:59.003-07:00it's whatever works for you too, and what work...it's whatever works for you too, and what works can definitely change overtime. people are going to judge you for whatever you choose and don't mind them. just do what works. that what everyone else is doing.Kristenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00387917833470372070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-59008373352264462852012-04-02T16:34:17.345-07:002012-04-02T16:34:17.345-07:00I'm no where near being married, but my boyfri...I'm no where near being married, but my boyfriend and I have talked about this topic. We definitely want an account together, and our own accounts too. So for house bills, car bills, dog stuff, and things like that, we would pay from our account. As for our own clothes, or movie with a friend, shopping trips, etc, we would pay from our own accounts. I wouldn't want to go out to dinner with a friend and have to pay for it with our account. I would definitely pay with my own account!Raquelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00054133376255562118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-64954082250981780172012-04-02T16:08:22.251-07:002012-04-02T16:08:22.251-07:00I think that each couple is different and you have...I think that each couple is different and you have to decide what is right for you. My husband and I have everything together. During our engagement we went to a Dave Ramsey course and so we were both on the same page about our finances and what debt we each had and everything. It definitely helped, open the door for communication, and now we know our goals. That being said, my Nanna and grandfather (this is the second marriage for both after their previous spouses died) have a joint account for paying bills and whatnot and then separate spending accounts. It works really well for them and they love it! So it's just about what works best for you!Mrs. Keehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07231049126615104230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-676197518600788912012-04-02T15:26:32.784-07:002012-04-02T15:26:32.784-07:00My husband and I have been married for a little ov...My husband and I have been married for a little over two years. When we first got married we opened a joint account thinking we would just use it as a back up, but that we would both keep our separate accounts. The new joint account was linked to his but not mine so we never really messed with it! I do not think we will ever have joint accounts. We split our finances pretty eavenly. He pays our mortgage but I have student loans and a car payment where he doesn't so it evens out. We are both open about our finances each month. If things come up unexpectantly he will help me out and vice versa! I feel like I work hard for my money so if I want to go buy a new shirt or go get a pedicure then I deserve to do it without having to tell my hubby or feel guilty about taking money out! It works for us and we rarely ever have any issues with it! Just because you don't have joint accounts does not mean you don't trust each other or that you aren't "one." Each couple is different and you just have to see what works! :)Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10457909631648669610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-25172318804463322832012-04-02T15:20:06.419-07:002012-04-02T15:20:06.419-07:00I should add that we do also have seperate checkin...I should add that we do also have seperate checking accounts with every intention of putting our "spending money" in there each month, but we never do. I have nothing to hide as far as how I spend my money, so I just never take the time to transfer over. They do come in handy when we buy gifts for one another, though, so as not to have the purchase history online where we can both see it! :)Caseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11866339373687441164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-45990392075321628552012-04-02T15:10:14.231-07:002012-04-02T15:10:14.231-07:00First of all, I don't think there is any way i...First of all, I don't think there is any way it "should" be done, as I don't think anyone is in any position to dictate how things should or shouldn't be done, just what works for them.<br /><br />I got married in a completely different position, and was not working for the months leading up the wedding (due to having just graduated and I wanted to wait to get the wedding taken care of and get back from honeymoon, along with the fact that I went right back into school after graduating), and that is when my husband (fiance at the time) got a joint account and started paying for everything together.<br /><br />At first, I felt weird spending "his" money on things like getting my nails done, or new makeup. But then I realized that in my eyes (and the eyes of the law, by the way), once we were married, no matter who brought in the paycheck, that money was OURS. At that point, I felt it was really important to discuss our spending habits, our saving goals, and come to a common agreement on how we should spend our money. Instead of not wanting to be told how to spend money, or questioned, I wanted us to agree on what was appropriate to spend. And we do, for the most part. In the long run, I think this is important because it seems to be that there will only be problems when you have a house to save for and a child to support if one person feels entitled to spend their money however they see fit, when it is, in fact, a partnership that both people should be working at together.Caseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11866339373687441164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-49635463154994307802012-04-02T13:31:00.067-07:002012-04-02T13:31:00.067-07:00Such an interesting topic because I have heard tha...Such an interesting topic because I have heard that money issues are what cause a majority of marriages to split. My husband and I were in the same shoes as you - I obviously don't make as much as he does working in the non profit area. We decided to combine our incomes completely, and it works well for us. But, I must say - I married a guy that doesn't give me an amount on what I can spend. I am actually more conservative at spending than he is - so he trusts that if I want to spend a lot of money on certain things, he's fine with that. We haven't had any issues yet. I do have my own little account that I set up to do what I want with, and he doesn't mind. A portion of what I make during the year goes in there. But for the most part, we have almost everything combined and it works for us. I think everyone is different, so you may just have to find what works well for both of you!TracyZLesh @ Then I Got To Thinkinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05351994552411264388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-24882612534226939302012-04-02T12:55:47.137-07:002012-04-02T12:55:47.137-07:00I kind of have to agree with your friend on this o...I kind of have to agree with your friend on this one -- a married couple should have a joint account.<br /><br />I am not going to deny that it was VERY hard for me at first adjusting to sharing the pot. I wanted to spend my money how I wanted, when I wanted, and on what I wanted. That was me being a selfish wife. I now understand that what we strive for as a married couple, we are going to work for together. We are planning to build a new home in the next 5-10 years. I can't even imagine the arguments it would create if my house savings account was less than his. I honestly think we would argue more with separate accounts.<br /><br />Almost 5 years into our marriage, we have it all figured out. It's comforting to not compare our incomes, not to have to think that I paid for the groceries this month and he paid the mortgage.michaela @ m.janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05125837766870205532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-83414417761987723932012-04-02T10:48:08.966-07:002012-04-02T10:48:08.966-07:00First of all, love the new header!
I say whatever...First of all, love the new header!<br /><br />I say whatever works best for you two is the right answer on how to utilize your money. My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married the last 3.5 and living together the last 4.5. When we moved in together we got a joint account that we each put money into-we split all mutual living expenses equally. After we got married, it just got to be a pain in the butt to have to transfer all this money all the time, so we eventually got just one joint account. <br /><br />Yes, sometimes we argue about money and where it goes-but that's because his spending habits are worse than mine! I pay most of the bills, and that just works for us. He isn't the best with money, so I have been able to help him out in that department. It shouldn't matter how much each of you is making, as long as you both contribute 100% if you're going to have a joint account. <br /><br />And the reality is, when you're married, you're going to have to talk about money all of the time anyways. Whether you have joint accounts or not. Whatever works best for you guys, is what you should do :)Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00129860380061595692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-58270449839048712622012-04-02T10:45:12.040-07:002012-04-02T10:45:12.040-07:00I'm not married but my parents always told me ...I'm not married but my parents always told me to have my own bank account separate from a joint one. You know just for me. I think each couple should do what's best for them. If it works better that you don't have a joint account then that's fine. You guys will figure it out. Good luck lady!<br /><br />Don't forget to enter my giveaway!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073663667387529623.post-90451979578494970372012-04-02T09:54:03.743-07:002012-04-02T09:54:03.743-07:00You have to figure out what works for you. My husb...You have to figure out what works for you. My husband and I were both terrible with money when we got married, so we agreed to join finances and I started paying bills and set a bugdet for each of us. We definitely argue about money from time to time, but this is what works for us. His parents, on the other hand, have been married forever and still have separate bank accounts because that's what works for them. Don't feel bad about whatever you decide.agalandherdoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04917906426943917221noreply@blogger.com